just thinking about the past.. and friends. ~ @mimi there's a long note for you at the end. :P
sometimes i cannot believe what people will throw away a great friendship over. honestly. i don’t see how there can be something more important. everyone needs someone to be there for them at some point. honestly, i’m friends with guys i’ve had undeniable feelings for, an ex who broke my heart, guys who have had feelings for me, hell, my best friend forgave me for something that honestly no one should ever have had to go through. and i still feel terribly guilty for what i put her through even though it was so long ago. so what they lost their friendship over… was not worth it, at all. and nothing will ever make me believe that their friendship shoud’ve ended over that. i’ve had friendships last through almost exactly what happened and more. we’re not friends anymore because we grew apart. not because of what happened between us. so really…. what is a friendship worth to someone?
obviously it’s not worth much to some people. but to me it’s worth a lot. without my friends i doubt i’d be the person i am today. shit, i’d probably be a terrible person. i’m not perfect, but i’m happy with who i am today because of the friends i’ve made and are friends with now. if i didn’t have them i’d probably would’ve have decided to get serious about school. i wouldn’t want to do anything worth doing. i probably woudn’t have realized how badly i’ve been pushing myself in the wrong direction and try to get everything right. and sometimes they try to get me to do the occasional… eh… wrong things… but i’m still young i shoud still be able to have some fun.
and i’m starting to regret letting some of my past friendship go. and i’m starting to feel really bad about not hanging out with my friends now. i don’t want our friendships to fade. and i know that i’ll stay friends with some of them no matter what… but i don’t know. i think i’m just feeling lonely because i don’t hang out with my friends much anymore and all i can do is think about the past, and it’s all i do. my mind wil wander and it’ll just wander to thoughts of the past. i hate it but i can’t help it. i don’t know it’s 2:30 and i’m sad. matt’s asleep and i have school tomorrow at 8:10.
@ mimi cause you’ll probaby read this? haha. we need to hang out soon. :D i’m really excited for some of the movies coming out in october so we should go! :] and we should do something for halloween!! and harry potter is coming up!! midnight showing? & dressing up? :DD!! and i know this is a lot further away… but spring break.. definitely WWoHP cause winter’s just too close and no moneys right now. D: and matt finished kingdom hearts on the psp and is randomly excited about fanime. which reminds me that we should make sea salt ice cream soon. :P LOL. we have A LOT we should do. ahaha. and BTW can you hook us up with tickets for haunt when you’re working? i wanna see you working there! haha. &&&& I wish you told me so we could’ve done it together!!! :[
i think i’ve known this for awhile now.. but i’m seriousy considering it now.
so. what realized.. again. is that i enjoy the feeling of piercings… and well tattoos now too. like.. i enjoy the warm feeling you get after getting pierced and the rush you get from sitting in the chair nervous and scared. and i really like the feeling of the tattoo machine.. yea it stung in some spots more than others but i enjoyed the vibrating of the needle and the warmth you feel from the blood, i suppose…
but what i’m really considering is.. taking out some of my piercings letting them heal over and re-piercing them. i don’t want anymore piercings.. well yea.. i do… but my mom doesn’t want me to get anymore.. so… idk. lol. i like the feeling of brief and temporary pain. is that bad..? haha
Do you know Brianna Martinez? she went to South City. but yea… she got her tattoo done at Lucky Van’s…. and i saw a picture of it. its a big quote like your’s and i’m not trying to be really mean or anything, i’m just commenting on it… but i’m just glad that even though we paid more, our quotes aren’t in a straight line and follow our body curves… i can now kinda see why Jay made such a big deal about it having that curve. like it looks good, but if weight was gained i can see how it’d get weird looking.
i woke up at ike 12:40 and i freaked out cause tofu’s appointment with the pet groomer was at 1:00. so i threw on some clothes peed and brushed my teeth really fast then left the house. so after, i dropped tofu off at the pet groomers and then i didn’t know what to do next… so i decided to watch gossip girl online. so i was watching it.. and i couldn’t hear this one guy talking clearly soo i turned up the volume. so i’m watching.. and then something happened.. i forgot what… but i was screaming at the computer screen… and in the midde of my sentence and gossip girl’s talking.. i think i hear the doorbell but i’m not sure. so i keep watching for a second then.. i realize that it was the doorbell… then i sprint to the door no pause or anything. and throw the door open and the fed ex guy hands me the scanner thingy. and he’s like “at least you’re not opening the door covered in blood anymore” cause last year or the year before that… it was during the whole twilight thing were i was covered in blood.. he came to deliver a package and i was covered in bood and he got really scared/worried and was like are you okay?!?.. yea.. then i walked backed to my room and put the laptop on the bed… then standing there i’m like SHIIT! i missed it! and then i freaked out about missing gossip girl. and since i was watching it on the cw’s website there were ads and there was an ad for the next episode of gossip girl and i spazzed cause it looks really good. and within the episode there were songs i really liked so i spazzed out everytime i heard it trying to find the name or something. yea.. i had a VERY spazzy morning/afternoon. :P
really scared/worried/nervous for tofu… cause… i just put flea killing/preventing thing on him.. and the last time i did… he ate some of it so it was just ALL bad. he actually has a few fleas now from the backyard probably.. so he needs it this time.. and.. yea.
now i’m hella scared something bad is gonna happen again. =\ he keeps scratching and biting and licking himself… so.. i’m hella scared he’ll eat some again. D:
probably gonna stay up all night to make sure he doesn’t show symptoms of eating it.. daah.. i have a full day of school tomorrow/today too. :[
but i really wanted to put it on him cause he’s getting a haircut on friday.. and if i can get all the fleas killed then they’ll just wash it all off. so he won’t have nasty flea bodies and stuffs all over him.
I hate my math class. It’s a short class so it’ll end earlier in the semester but it’s 2 hours long. And my teacher is super asain. Like her English is strange and it’s hard to understand her.
And my head is throbbing. Matt is at work. Sigh.
I hate mine too. I already took stats, yet when she explains everything I get stupider and suddenly don’t understand instead of, “Right~ I remember this!” We had an open note test and I failed because apparently the notes she gave us were super shit cause I answered based off that. =__= Mine also has strange english as well. LOL
Lol yea.. Well I just don’t get any of it. Haha. I really regret not taking a math class senior year now cause I’m like. O.o what?? Half the time.
Dude! Did you watch easy a? Sorry I didn’t answer that day. I was just like argh period. Sleeeeeep. haha if you watched it, was it good? And if you didn’t, I’m going tomorrow. wanna come?